Problems at Home

Dear Yuanji,

My dad lost his job two years ago due to downsizing in his company(it's in the financial industry but I won't say what the name or type of company). He hasn't been able to hold onto a job for more than a few months and he's started to drink fairly heavily. Drinks from the afternoon until he passes out around 9PM. He tells me it's not problem and that he's just down a little bit because he's unable to support a family he loves. He assures me that it's just temporary but that line is looking hazier now. How do I talk to him about the issue? I'm not sure how to bring it up to him.


Financial problems are always a sensitive issue for people. It sounds like your dad is trying to cope with a shortcoming he has, and its not always easy. From what you've told me, it seems clear that your dad knows that he is doing more damage with his drinking problem, but sometimes it can be hard to find a way out. That is where you need to come in as the people he loves. Show him that the burden of support does not solely lie on his shoulders. If not financially, offer him emotional support. As for how to bring the issue up. Just remember that indecision can cause more problems than the wrong decision. Let me illustrate with an anecdote. A man one day starts to feel abnormal pains in his chest. He surmises that he might be developing a heart condition, but does not want to go to a doctor to verify his fears. As long as he does not confront the issue, he will not lose his illusion of health. Three years later, he suffers from a heart attack. Perhaps it is true that the doctor would tell him that he would have died in three years anyways, but such a result is only one possibility out of the countless others that might have come about had he taken action. A negative outcome is not something to be feared, but rather something that should be confronted. See if you have the power to fix what is broken. I hope this helps.