Dear Yuanji,
I live in a triple-dorm. All three of us are on our period so it can be pretty catty in here. I am rooming with an old friend, (person A in the interest of anonymity), from high school. Our friendship has never been very stable, sometimes we love each other and sometimes we can't stand each other. Recently she has been waking me up extra early in the morning with her constant slamming of the door. When I confronted about it she ignored me. It's been a few days and she has been ignoring me in person as well as text messages and IMS. She is extra friendly with person B ever since she has been ignoring me. So, Do you think she is doing this trying to spite me? How should I deal with this in the future? What should I consider when I look for a new roommate next year? And how has your experience been with your past roommates?
Thank You!
Dear Anon,
Sounds like a crazy situation you have there. First of all, don't tell other people you're on your period. Sometimes its better things are left unsaid, which segues into my point about your situation. Sometimes niggas just need their space, especially if its some female niggas. Next thing, it's not always about you. Don't always think that people are trying to spite you, in fact the opposite might be true. Maybe person A was ticked off when you confronted her about what she thought was something innocuous. I think it would be good for you two to have some distance for now so that you can remember why it is you were friends to begin with. I know that I can take my friends for granted if I'm around them too long.
As for what kind of roommates you are looking for, the ideal roommate is kind of a personal preference. I feel that it basically falls into two camps. If you are the type of person who enjoys his/her own time, it may be good to find a roommate that you have very little in common with. In this case, it would be a strictly professional/financial relationship. If you are looking for a roommate that is going to be one of your best/better friends, as I have found myself in the position of, the number one rule is accommodation. This goes along with the issues you have with your friend right now. If you want to be very close to your roommate, you also have to be able to put up with her shit. The more flexible you are, within reason of course, the better a time you will have.